Insert Pun Here

 I have always been a fan of the elaborate pun. When my brother and I were young we became city planners, mapping out an ornate plan for a city officially named, "The Middle of Nowhere."

"That way," I explained to Josiah, "People can literally say, 'I live in the Middle of Nowhere.'"

Our town was populated with streets with names such as, "Boulevard Avenue," "Road Street," and "Place Place." Main Street was a back alley way; Short Street was the longest street in town, and it intersected with Long Street (the shortest.)

The punning, I am sad to say, did not stop in my childhood. When I was sixteen, my family got a dog that we named Achilles for the sole reason of shouting "Achilles, heel."

The list of Achilles related puns goes on and on. I used to make the jokes a lot more when he was a puppy.

Me: "If Achilles was a doctor and you were sick, I'd tell him, 'Achilles, heal.'"
Me: "Look, It's Achilles' MEAL."
Me: "I'm walking Achilles by a school bus, and I'm all like, 'Achilles, yield.'"
Everyone in my family: "You are not funny, please be quiet."

I bring this all up, because I have a new cat. Before I got the cat, my mom and I spent a lot of time discussing cat names.
My mom says, "I think you should name it Astrophe... As in CAT-astrophe."
"What about Acomb...as in CAT-acomb."
"CAT-apult!"
"CAT-aclysm!"
"CAT-alyst!"
"Kit-CAT-Bar...I spelled it with a C in my mind, mom."

Anyway, we finally got the cat. I don't know if it is a boy or girl yet (it's a little young to tell, and the cat is pretty furious and scared every time we try to tell). I do have some names picked out, though. If it's a boy, I'll either name it Chairman Meow or Fidel CATstro. If it's a girl, I'll name it Fur Elise.

I had a friend object to the name Chairman Meow. "What on earth is the nick-name of a cat named Chairman Meow? Do you just call him Meow for short?"

I said, "No, I call him comrade."